Welcome to Night Vale Fan Episode--Whose Hands ARE These!
by CC's World
Summary: My episode 72. Megan Wallaby is up...to something. Who can save Night Vale from Megan's vengeance?


Cecil: A chilly sun, another chilly sun, and sentient lizards. Welcome to Night Vale.

 _Night Vale theme plays_

Hello, listeners! My papers from Mayor Cardinal tell me that today should be a good day for biking! Also, running. Why don't you go for a run? Seriously, you should go for a really nice run.

No, really. **Run.**

Listeners, Carlos and I have officially moved in together! We are _not_ living in a condo, thankfully, no matter what anybody says about condos being great for living in. No, Carlos actually replicated that one-room place he'd built in the Desert Otherworld and built it on the edge of town.

Oh, I have some more urgent news. It seems that Megan Wallaby, who used to be a detached man's hand but who is now attached to a man, is up and walking! Isn't that good news, everybody? It just proves what can happen when you put your mind to it.

[ _sound of cell phone ringing_ ] Oh, I should get this….

Carlos: Cecil! Cecil, Cecil, Cecil!

Cecil: Carlos! What is it?

Carlos: Cecil! I was actually there in the hospital when Megan took her first steps! It was...beautiful. Frightening, but also beautiful.

Cecil: Was that all you had to call me about? I'm...kind of on the air.

Carlos: No. Actually, when Megan stood and took a step, all of her monitors spiked. All of them. Drastically. To heights that nobody should reach and still be alive.

Cecil: Oh. Well. We should be happy that she's still alive and walking then...right?

Carlos: But you have to wonder...why the sudden spike? Why the sudden release of energy? This is something new for me to investigate.

Cecil: Well, you have fun. Be safe; don't get sucked into a Desert Otherworld again, okay?

Carlos: [ _laughs_ ] Oh, sweetie, I won't. Gotta go, important science-y things to do! I love you!

Cecil: I love you, too. I'll just...talk some more, shall I….

[ _quietly_ ] Well, now that that's taken care of….I can get back to the mic again.

Hello again, listeners! Sorry for the delay! [ _forced laugh_ ] You know boyfriends...won't leave you alone….Heh….

Back to the news! How about some traffic?

There has been a crash on East Somerset, but the driver has mysteriously...vanished. Nobody knows where the driver of the small, smoking, crushed blue car is. There was no body, no blood, no anything. Not any sign that anyone had even been driving the car.

So, don't go driving on East Somerset, as usual. It's very backed up and it seems as though something is wiping people out of existence, as one of the Sheriff's Secret Police has also vanished into thin air…although if that's a sign of strange supernatural occurrences or just the street being weird, I'm not sure. We're talking about the Sheriff's Secret Police, here.

Oh, another news update on Megan Wallaby: reports say that she is wandering the streets of Night Vale listlessly, moaning quietly and speaking nonsense in Russian. Isn't that great? She's vocal now, too!

Pamela Winchell has just enacted another Emergency Press Conference, being the Director of Emergency Press Conferences. She has been yelling at the reporters, saying, "THE HANDS OF YOUR DISDAIN WILL CRAWL OVER YOU. THEY WILL TEAR YOUR LIMBS FROM YOU. THEY WILL MAKE YOU ONE OF THEM." She is now ripping branches off of a nearby tree, as if to prove her point.

Oh, look! I can see Megan from my window! She is shuffling along, apparently still getting used to the whole walking sensation. I can hear her indistinct Russian babble from here. Wait...why did she stop?

Oh, God. Oh, God, oh God oh God. She is yelling to the sky, still in Russian, and I can see...a sea of hands, scuttling across the desert towards our town. Towards us.

Could Pamela's words be true?

Board your windows, your doors, your chimneys, your lean-tos, and cover your bloodstone circles, as they are illegal and will not help you anyway. Huddle together in the corners inside your houses and hope that Megan's army does not find y-

Oh, he-hello...v-very nice t-to see you u-up, Megan. Heh….

[ _sound of chair scraping against floor, footsteps_ ]

Please don't hurt me….

Megan: [ _thick Russian accent_ ] Ve vill make you one of us. You vill become one of us.

Cecil: N-now, listeners, as I t-try to fend off Megan and talk reason into her, I take you now...to the weather. Now, Meg-

Weather: "Vinyl Soul" by Cambria

Welcome back, listeners. As you can tell, the situation has been taken care of. Once again, my favorite person came to our rescue and did quite a lot of things I don't exactly understand, with chemicals and electric wires and things like that.

But, Carlos did still manage to save us all.

And he's calling me right now!

Cecil: Hello, Carlos….

Carlos: Cecil! You're okay!

Cecil: I'm fine. Did you ever figure out what that spike of energy was?

Carlos: Yes, actually. It was Megan, calling out to her people. It was like a signal or something.

Cecil: Well, that's very interesting, Carlos. Thank you for saving us all. We probably won't understand anything you say to us (no offense, of course), so don't explain what you did.

Carlos: [ _laughs_ ] I'm going back to the house. See you tonight, babe. Love you!

Cecil: I love you, too. Be careful!

[ _sigh_ ]

Another day, another enemy, another win for us. Somehow, we always pull through. Pick yourselves up, unboard your doors and windows, and take a step or two outside. Watch out for the Secret Police-they'll be doing a cleanup check.

Stay tuned for the sound of everything exploding into eternal darkness.

And, as always...goodnight, Night Vale. Goodnight.


End file.
